Here’s an example of a headline rewrite from when I was working with Tiago Forte on his productivity course, Building a Second Brain.
Before: Building a Second Brain
After: Do you consume tons of interesting information, but feel like it’s not leading to anything meaningful?
Longer, yes, which is a no-no to some. But people will read longer text if it’s relevant, and that’s the key here. The first headline isn’t relevant to the reader — the second headline is.
The increase in sales proved it was the right change to make.
Always keep telos in mind when writing headlines. Always answer the question, “What can this thing do for me?”